GOLFER'S...BEWARE...

Story 1:   Golfer's BEWARE:  So I was recently told the hilarious story of my Sister-in-law and the Golfer's.  These stories are why I miss being here because there is always something happening my family haha.  So my sister-in-law and brother live across from a golf course and have to drive by the greens everyday.  One morning when my sister-in-law was taking my nieces to school, they had just pulled out of there neighborhood and started on the main road that runs parallel with the golf course when WHAMMM..a golf ball slams into the hood of her Cadillac.  You have to know my sister-in-law to think this story is funny but just know that she will always let you know what's on her mind and takes nothing from anyone.  So she immediately pulls the car off the road ONTO the golf course.  Puts the car in park.  Gets out of the car, it's early morning, so she's in her pajama pants and top, and starts yelling at the golfer's that hit the ball. They look at her...completely stunned that this women in her PJS is cussing at them haha.  She continues to yell until she sees that it's not doing any good but it made her feel better.  So she meant to the club house and told the manger and the manger said its not the Golf  Courses responsibility to take care of any damage a golf using his course causes, but it's the golfer's responsibility.  So golfer's BEWARE of that hahahha.  She never tracked them down.  She should have continued chasing after them when she had the chance hahah.  I can't believe I missed seeing this with my own eyes.  How funny is that. 

Story 2:  So my same sister-in-law one day after picking up the girls from school stopped at the gas station and went in with the girls to get a drink.  While in the gas station, my sister-in-law overs some big black women telling my oldest niece that she needs to learn some manners and always let the elderly go first.  Well my sister-in-law walks over and my niece says, "mom, I said excuse me when I reached in to get a drink, i wasn't rude".  So my sister-in-law turns to the women and says "you don't need to talk to my children that way when they were being polite."  This ticks the women off and she starts cussing at my sister-in-law and the big black women takes her finger and touches my sister-in-laws forehead and pushes her back.  Ha my Well all hell broke lose when she did that.  My sister-in-law was behaving until the "finger push" to the forehead by this black women.  She starts yelling and a cussing and was ready to punch this women in the face when the people in line at the gas station start says "don't do it, your kids are watching" and after some encouragement from the people in line, she drops her fist and walks away.  The black women is told to leave immediately from the gas station by the manager and my sister-in-law and nieces walk out with a free box of doughnuts...complements to the gas station for not busting someone in the face! hahah

Story 3:  So my nieces Ashton and Taylor came over to spend the night last night and hang out with me.  We made this most spectacular ginger bread house ever.   Two things I recommend...one, don't eat the icing that comes in the kit...it has glue in it.  Two, don't eat the ginger bread cookie part, it taste nothing like a cookie.  The picture doesn't give the ginger bread house justice hahah...actually the picture makes the house look better than it is in real life.  Lets just say it won't be the center piece for Christmas dinner!

My beautiful nieces, Ashton and Taylor

Story 4:  My same sister-in-law as the other two stories is very talented.  She can paint very well.  So I'm not sure if you have ever heard of the game called "Corn Hole".  It is pretty much the best game ever invented.  Well she painted these awesome "Corn Hole" boards for the game.  You have to look up the rules and play it sometime!!  Better yet just come to our house Christmas Eve or any other time we have a famiy get together and we'll teach ya!!! It's a family tradition of ours to play this game when ever we have a family get together!! They love Clemson hence the tiger paws!

Scene from the movie "Christmas Vacation" ha



Christmas at Mam-maw's

Mam-maw, Mama, and Me

Mam-maw

I just love coming home and having Christmas at Mam-maws!! I always leave with a super thick southern accent that I will have until I've been back in Utah for a while.  I seriously have the best family ever!  They all have so much personality and are full of humor.  I laughed tonight more than I have in a long time.  My abs even hurt!  So all my family there in Vale, NC (Hogs Hill) especially my Mam-maw say the funniest stuff.  They are just down home good ole country people that love family more than anything.  Going to Mam-maws always helps to remind me what a blessing it is to be a part of this family and to have been raised by the most generous, loving, and giving people in the world.  I love hearing my Mam-maw pronounce words. Words that I've missed that Mam-maw said tonight: 

 Real word                                                 How Mam-maw said it:

-Freeze  it                                                          -Frizz it

-diarrhea                                                            -dia-rear

- Irish potatoes                                                  - Arsh-taters

- Merry Christmas                                              -Mury Christmas

Uncle Den, Zach, Morgan, and Landon



Aunt Trudy, me, and Uncle Den



My cute little cousins: Morgan and Zach

and many more.  I love my mam-maw!!  I'm so glad I'm from the south!  Not to mention that the food was absolutely amazing!  Man, I've really missed real food and fried foods.  Who cares if it's bad for you..its delicious!  We had a turkey that my Uncle Den cooked, ham, green beans, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, potato casserole, fruit salad, and homemade roles.  Then for dessert we had, orange slice cake, homemade apple pie, pumpkin crisp, red velvet cake, persimmon pudding (yuck ha), and homemade pound cake! And to drink, Sweet Tea, Sundrop, and Cheerwine!!!! I ate enough to be good until January!  

Aunt Reba and Uncle Allen



Learning to love me....

So lately with exams, work, church callings and responsibilities and lots of other things going on in my life..I've spread myself thin once again.  Not a surprise I know.  I'm still learning how to say "No". I'm on this emotional roller coaster that I thought was a dramatic and bad thing that needed to be changed  or fixed but I realized God doesn't want me to change who I am.  He wants me to make the right decisions.  I use to wish that I didn't care so much about people and their hearts so that I could maybe not feel the fullness of my heavy heart all the time.  That it would prevent all the crying...the giving..the busy life of caring...but that's not who I am.  I cry.  I give.  I spill my heart to everything and everyone.  I can't do anything half way.  I never could and I never will be.  But I've come to the understanding the God made me like this.  He loves me the way I am and being emotional and caring for everyone in the world regardless of whether I just met you or have known you for years, is not a bad thing.  I don't need to work on it or change it.  One of my best friends is serving a mission in San Fernando, CA. The term "best friend" doesn't really cover our relationship, she's my sister, part of my family.  She is amazing with words and using the English language to describe just exactly how she feels and everyone who reads her stuff knows exactly how she feels without any confusion.  She has a gift.  We are like two peas in a pod.  We both love people easy. We fall hard and fast.  We put everything we have emotionally , mentally, and spiritually into everything that we do.  We have this unrelenting desire to taste freedom or the sense of "care free" in life.  We have lots of passions in life that lead us down amazing paths that often bring both happiness and pain.  One passion, being life, to live it, feel it, enjoy it, appreciate it, and make history of it.  We are full of free spirit.  We refuse to do what the world wants us to do and that's why I love her so much.  Sometimes people find me too much but I connect with others fast and if I feel impressed that I should share something with you, I do.  Sometimes I look back on moments when I've spilled, cried, laughed, got so excited everyone within a 100 mile radius has heard me, and said whatever was on my heart, that I'm embarrassed because I don't hold anything back.  But Lyndsi made me realize, God doesn't want you to hold back.  He made you this way for a reason and He loves who you are.  So like Lyndsi said, I'm not going to be embarrassed by my dramatic, over emotional self.  So I feel, and what I feel, I tell and everyone around me knows.  So I'd rather sit by the lake on a warm summer night and stick my feet in the lake and look up into the heavens, then go to a movie or go shopping.  I'd rather hike and enjoy God's gift of nature and sleep on a mountain top then stay in a nice hotel.  I would rather eat pizza and have a sleep over with my best friend then worry about how unhealthy pizza is and how tired I'm going to be because of staying up giggling all night long.  Like Lyndsi said I'm not one who will sit nicely with legs crossed on your couch and make small talk.  I'm going to sit on the floor and talk with your grandma about yummy southern food and things she use to do when she was my age. I'm going to wash your dishes and help clean up after dinner.   Being personal and in touch with yourself, your feelings, and your spiritual welfare, is what its all about.  You can't live and know joy, if you don't give life and others everything you've got, every chance you get.  I've felt pain, sadness, anger, hurt, disappointment, confusion, embarrassment, love, happiness, joy, excitement, rejected, hope, lost, and being found and many more.  Because I've aloud myself to feel and know what emotions I'm feeling, I am who I am.   I'm learning to love me.

Merry Christmas from Ryan, Lindsey, and Buddy the Elf

Kidney Cancer Awareness...

Since I lost my beloved Father two years ago December 6, 2008, I wanted to dedicated this post and month to Kidney Cancer Awareness.  Cancer is a terrible disease that affects many.  My father was a miracle x3.  The Lord still had things for him to accomplish here on Earth when he was diagnosed.  He beat the cancer for five years.  Five years is a very long time to fight when the cancer is caught in stage 3, but my father is a fighter and he did overcome it.  As it says in the in the Doctrine & Covenants 42:48 "...he that hath faith in me to be healed, and is not appointed unto death, shall be healed."  My dad was healed but it was his time to pass into Eternity.  I'm so grateful I got to have him in my life for 21 years.   

They traced the result of Kidney Cancer in my father from the herbicide, Agent Orange.  Agent Orange is a herbicide that was used by the U.S during the Vietnam War to defoliate the hiding places of the Viet Cong (VC) guerillas and North Vietnamese Army (NVA) regulars.  My dad served honorably in the Vietnam War.  During this time he was exposed on a regular basis to Agent Orange.  My father was an amazing man.  He was presented with a purple heart which he declined because he said "I did what any man would have done for another and for his country."  He is my HERO.   I love you daddy.

A little bit about Kidney Cancer:

Kidney cancer, also called renal cell cancer or renal adenocarcinoma, is a cancer that starts in the kidneys. The most common type of kidney cancer in adults is renal cell cancer. It accounts for more than nine out of 10 cases of kidney cancer.  We don't know what causes kidney cancer, but we do know there are certain risk factors. According to The American Cancer Society, risk factors for kidney cancer include:

• Smoking — the risk factor decreases if you stop smoking
• Being overweight
• Exposure to certain chemicals on the job, including asbestos, cadmium, herbicides, benzene, and certain organic solvents
• Inherited diseases, including von Hippel-Lindau disease and hereditary papillary renal cell carcinoma
• A family history of kidney cancer, especially of a brother or sister
• Having high blood pressure
• Having advanced kidney disease
• Gender — men develop kidney cancer about twice as often as women
• Race — African Americans have a slightly higher rate of renal cell cancer than whites

   

I wear a green Ribbon In Honor of the: 

 Survivors, Warriors, Caregivers, The Families, And for the Lives Lost

Be aware. Not afraid.

He is my love, my life, and my best friend

This feels surreal!! We've been together for FIVE years and now it's official.  Do you know how long I've waited to call him my Fiance and now I can!!! I had a rough week but man he sure knew how to make me forget about that!!!!!  He always said that he'd propose when I'd least expect it but I thought I'd know when it was coming!!  He blind sided me!!! I love surprises so this was perfect!  I had told him that I wanted him to pick out the ring and everything, that I wanted it all to be a complete surprise!  So this is how it happened:

 Leading up to it:  
I had to open at work Saturday, December 4, 2010 and work till 2:00pm.  Then Ry and I were going to go to Layton so that I could babysit his niece Sarah while Mel and JB went out and celebrated their Anniversary.  So I'm at work and he comes and brings me lunch and says to meet him at his apartment when I get off and we'll go down to Layton.  So I get off work and go to his apartment.  We get in the car and he says lets drive up by the Logan Temple.  I thought nothing of it because we love to just drive up by the temple and get out and walk and look out over the valley and at the Wellsville Mountains (our favorite).

The Proposal:

     So as we are walking about the temple, he stops me at the west end of the Temple where you can look out over the valley and have an amazing view of the Wellsville Mountains.  It was drizzling so he grab my hand and took me over to one of the back doors of the temple where there is an arch over the door way! He begins to tell me how much he loves me and the adventures in life he wants to share with me and then gets on one knee.  I honestly couldn't believe it because I really didn't see it coming.  He knew just how to do it so that i was completely surprised!  It was just us and it was absolutely amazing.  My eyes about popped out of head when I saw this gorgeous ring!!!  ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!!! He did so great!!!  Talk about amazing...I love him so much!  He is so good to me!!  I'm so grateful that I get to spend all Eternity with a wonderful man like Ry!  I couldn't be any happier! :)  He is my love, my life, and my best friend. 

After: 

So after we get back in the car to head to Layton, Ry proceeds to tell this: "So this morning at work, do you remember that package that you signed for Abraham...well that was your ring..and when I came and brought you lunch, I secretly took the package with me when I left!"- Ryan.   How funny is that.  I signed for my own ring that morning and had no idea!!! He was definitely excited because he only waited 3 hours to give me the ring from when it arrived!!!!! I just love him so much!  He is such a cutie!

The Wedding: 

No dates have been set yet but we are shooting for late summer, so early August!!!  I'll keep yall updated!!!!

What a day.....

You know you love your job when:

1.  You get bit, pinched, and hit by little preschoolers and you can laugh about it
(Today I had a kid bite me on my knee fat ha)

2. You get paint on your favorite pair of jeans because a cute kid grabbed your leg just after you had painted their ENTIRE hand to make a turkey...and laugh about it

3.  You have to change stincky diapers but laugh when the mom sends a note to school the next day thanking you for changing her sticky daughter and promises to never feed her beans for dinner again haha...and you can still laugh about it

4. You get more excited about the acitivities then the children do

5. You get asked to dress up as a police man and teach the kids "stop" and "go" and laugh about it

6.  You get your butt smacked, patted, or slapped everyday and can laugh at it ( I work with all women, so somehow that makes it okay ha, it's a girl thing and I just love my skinny jeans!)

7.  You have kids that misbehave and scream and yet and it doesn't really bother you...and you can laugh about it

8.  You miss your kids when you don't see them, and it melts your heart every time they get off the bus, yell your name, and come wrap their little arms around your neck

This is me having a bad day...ha trying to be positive.  My knee fat hurts bad, and maybe if I didn't love my skinny jeans so much and wear them all the time, then maybe he wouldn't have been able to get a good bite! HAha  All of these are true stories.  I love working at the preschool.  You never leave empty handed of stories.  But when they call you by your name with a smile that pulls on the heart strings, it makes every day worth it!  So bad day, go away....

Now this is me being negative...so usually when I have a bad day or a down day I just ride it off with a smile and try to control my temper...BUT NOT TODAY :) ha I hardly ever get really mad at people...well at least not to their face :) BUT NOT TODAY...usually I can still keep a nice tone in my voice so that others don't realize I'm annoyed...BUT NOT TODAY  ha.  So this is my day...I wake up at flippin 7:00 am and can't go back to sleep because it's like 500 degrees in my apartment.  So on my day to sleep in, I toss and turn till 9:00am when finally my alarm goes off.  Then as I sit up in bed...I forget that I don't have that much space between my bed and ceiling and I bang my head on the ceiling, which causes me to jerk into a funny position and say lots of four letter words...which sets off my herniated disc in my lower back..which pinches my right sciatic nerve with hurts like hell! So not only was I tired, hot and sweaty, and had a knot on my forehead but I was now in so much pain that it caused my buttock muscle to cramp half why down my leg haha..So that's how my morning started.  After I got myself under control, I took some lovely drugs that made everything feel better :)  So I headed to class.  I was running a little bit behind anyways so I just grabbed my book-bag and ran out the door.  My class starts at 10:30 am.  I left my apartment at 10:15 so that I could have time to park close to where my class is because it was freaking fridged this morning.  And of course, NO PARKING SPACES open in the TSC lot so I venture over to another B lot...NO PARKING SPACES open...so I went to the next closest B lot...NO PARKING SPACES open..so I drive all the way to next and last B lot and there were a few spaces...but it was the farthest parking lot away.  So I have to go to the Eccles Science building near the TSC and I had to park all the way down by the USU Ice Cream place.  I love to walk so no big deal right....except that was 6 degrees and I forgot my ear muffs, my gloves, and my scarf.  So I start out on this long journey which I usually love to walk, and I start to think, okay it's not so bad just a little bit further.  Shortly after my ears start to burn...then my fingers, then my neck...then my toes...haha (could I be any more dramatic) and then I start realizing that when people are passing me and saying hey, that I couldn't smile back because MY FACE WAS FROZEN..literally, icicles on my eye lashes and on my nose.  Well the best thing that happened was when my body finally went numb and I didn't feel a thing...too bad that happened just as I was reaching my building for class.  Next time I'm going to be prepared! ha I was so re-leaved to finally get to class when I looked to see what time it was and it was 10:55, ha but I didn't really care about that as much as I was worried about  finding a seat near the back.  And of course, no seats open in the back, but 3 SEATS were open on the front row!  So I walk down through the aisle with like 300 people starring at me to reach my seat on the front row.  It only gets better from here I promise..So I sit in the seat that's at the very end of the row so that I have two seats beside me that are empty because I'm grumpy.  Well here comes this kid like 10 minutes later and takes the seat right next to me.  Usually I like to sit beside someone but NOT TODAY... So he starts talking to me about some of the most random crap..and usually I don't mind to talk to strangers about random crap because I love people but NOT TODAY..so I look at him and I'm pretty sure I had this annoyed, pissed off cherry red face and said in a mumble, "I'm frozen, thanks" when he asked how I was doing.  And what does he do, he laughs and asks where I'm from because when I'm pissed, fired up,sick, or cranky, my southern accent comes out.  So he continues to talk more instead of getting the vibe I was trying to send...which was BACK OFF HOMIE..I'm cold, hungry, and wet ha.  I just think this is totally hilarious now because I'm never like this to anyone ha.  So I deal with it and eventually make it out of class which had to be my 75 min class today and head to my first job of the day.  It was actually fun and a lot better than my morning was except for the part where a kid bites a chuck of my knee fat off ha.  So really it's just been a crazy first half of the day.  But I survived and made it probably more dramatic then it really was!

tuesdays with Morrie...

So as this Thanksgiving break starts coming to an end, I look back at how I've spent my time and the emotions I've embraced.  I cried, I laughed, I smiled, I was happy and I was sad.  I thought of memories in the past, some good, and some bad.  Some of the best memories I have, have been when I've embraced more than one emotion.  Emotions can be frustration and overwhelming, but they can also bring lots of happiness and joy if we can find that balance where your emotions can't control you're life.  I finished the wonderful book "tuesdays with Morrie" for a third time tonight.  Every time I read his words I feel myself grow.  When I read this book I cry. I laugh. I reminisce. I wonder, and I try and practice what I've just read.  These are the wonderful quotes that touched me this go round:     

"Detachment doesn't mean you don't let the experience penetrate you.  On the contrary, you let it penetrate you fully.  That's how you are able to leave it.  Take any emotion-love for a woman/man, or grief for a loved one, or what I'm going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness.  If you hold back on the emotions-if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them-you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid.  You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief.  You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.  But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely.  You know what pain is.  You know what love is.  You know what grief is.  And only then can you say, 'All right.  I have experienced that emotion.  I recognize that emotion.  Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment...then you can let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely, then it won't control you." 
I feel I do this pretty well. Sometimes too much.

"It's very simple.  As you grow, you learn more.  If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two.  Aging is not just decay, you know.  It's growth.  It's more than the negative that you're going to die, it's also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."

Although I'm only twenty-three years old,  I feel this describes me very well and this is what I hope I feel when I'm in my eighties:
"The truth is, part of me is every age.  I'm a three-year-old, I'm a five-year-old, I'm a thirty-seven-year-old, I'm a fifty-year-old.  I've been through all of them, and I know what it's like.  I delight in being a child when it's appropriate to be a child.  I delight in being a wise old man when it's appropriate to be a wise old man.  Think of all I can be!  I am every age, up to my own."

 Being fully present..how often are you really in the present? 
"I believe in being fully present..That means you should be with the person you're with.  When I'm talking to you now, I try to keep focused only on what is going on between us.  I am not thinking about something we said last week.  I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.  I am talking to you.  I am thinking about you."

This is talking about where you have a partner and you have to fall backwards and trust that your partner will catch you.  This shows you're willingness to trust someone, to trust yourself.  To just close your eyes and take that leap of faith. 
"You see, he says to the girl, you closed your eyes.  That was the difference.  Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel.  And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too-even when you're in the dark.  Even when you're falling."


"Life is a series of pulls back and forth.  You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else.  Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't.  You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.  A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band.  And most of us live somewhere in the middle."  "Which side wins? Love wins.  Love always wins."

Simple. Clear. Powerful. True.

Some of the things I'm thankful for...

Sarah bug

T Temples, testimony, turkey, Tom and Jerry ice cream, Tar Heels, trees, Tennessee, Tetons, time, traditions, Taylor (niece), tithing

H Heavenly Father, Holy Ghost, home,hymns, heat, humor, heritage, heaven, hugs, holidays, hot coco, hammocks

A Angels, aunts, apple pie, affection, animals, America, automobiles, Army, Ashton (niece), adventure

N Noah, nieces, nephews, nature, North Carolina, Navy, Nana, naps, Nintendo, National Parks

My love

K keys of the priesthood, keyboard, knowledge, kisses, kittens, Kim (sis), Kristy (sis in law), kindness, kids

F family, friends, faith, fuzzies, fireflies, food, feet, fingers, forks, fudge,

 U uniqueness, umbrellas, Utah, USA, Utah State,

L Lord, love, laughter, life, lilies, lights, laws, loyalty, lotion, lullaby's, LDS, Lillie (grandma), language, letters

F FREEDOM, Father, facials, fish, firework's, flowers, forgiveness,

O oreos, ocean, oxygen, obedience

R Religion, rights, Ralph (Daddy), Ryan, road trips, recommends, Rodney (bro)

Y You, yo-yo's, youth, Yoda,

O occupations, ovaries :), others, outdoor, over night trips,

U Unity, universe, underwear, uncles

Mel, JB, and Sarah

Heaven sent, Katelyn



Rachel, Emily, Sarah, Katelyn, and me



left-overs

CHEESE



I survived!

 

Well I survived the blizzard!  After the blizzard stopped I decided to journey outside and see what the damage was.  We only had around a foot of snow and well 5 ft snow drifts ha!  It was so tempting that I had to make a snow angel!  Officer Frosty died an honorable death after defeating most of the blizzard.  And snow boots were mandatory so I had to do a 1 am run to Wal-mart! Thank goodness they are open 24/7!  I bought me a sweet pair of snow boots and stopped in a few parking lots on the way home to do some doughnuts!!!! So the snow excitement is over for now!

WORK..CANCELED..SCHOOL..CANCELED..INTERSTATES...CLOSED...SNOWED IN = AWESOME

So in NC when it snows, well even before it snows people run around crazy and head to the Grocery store to buy bread and milk and stock up on other necessities.  Then before the first snowflake falls from the sky, school is canceled, work is canceled, church is cancelled, EVERYTHING is cancelled.  BUT in Utah when it snows, live goes on...and so does everything else UNTIL TODAY.  Before this crazy Blizzard hit Logan, both places I work was cancelled, campus and classes were closed, interstates were closed, and Sardine Canyon was closed.  CRAZY!!! This is my first official blizzard and I love it!!!! I've always wanted to be  snowed in...literally.  Well I could go somewhere if I needed to but since you only have about 10ft of visibility that would not be the brightest of ideas.  So instead I dragged my roommate Jess, out in the snow before this blizzard hit and built a snowman!  Well more like a snow cop.  We named him Officer Frosty!  So as we are building our snowman, our neighbor, little 3 yr old Cody came out to help us!  So Jess, Cody, and I built Officer Frosty!  We currently have 8 inches of snow just on our porch!  My plans tomorrow...to bring Jess out with me and  build an Igloo! 

Motivation..or lack there of

So every since I found out about not getting into the Special Education Department, I've struggled with motivation to do my school work.  I would rather do anything but school work.  Usually i'm not like this.  But i'm in this slump where I fill my mind and time with silly activities instead of being studious.  Anything sounds better then school work right now.  So i'm trying to fill my brain with motivational quotes and power driven statements to help get me out of this slump.  I love Ralph Waldo Emerson.  I've read many of his essays,quotes, and books of his wisdom on life, nature, and love.  What a man of great insight. Unlike most writers I can relate to him, to his words.  So I've filled my brain with his quotes of wisdom to help bring me out of this slump.         WORDS OF WISDOM FROM RALPH WALDO EMERSON:

 "They can conquer who believe they can."

                  

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

                                                

"When you get into a tight place, and it seems you can't go on, hold on, for that's just the place and time that the tide will turn."

"Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us, or we find it not."

                                        

 "What Is Success"

                                                 

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived; 

 This is to have succeeded.

"In life, you can never do a kindness too soon because you never know how soon it will be too late."

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing on one's own sunshine."

The weight of the holidays but also the joys..



My home at Christmas time, when it
actually snowed!!!

Mama and my nieces



Daddy, me and all my nieces



The Holidays are wonderful!  Lots of family, food, and laughs, but with them for me comes tears both happy and sad, and memories that pull on your heart strings.  As the time gets closer to Daddy's birthday on November 26 of next week and the two year mark of his passing into Eternity on December 6, I can feel my heart growing more and more tender each day.  So if you see me and the tears are just rolling, just give me a hug and know that I'm okay I just have to let them out.  My dad always said,"That tears are the safety valve of the heart, so that it won't explode." The holidays are hard and tough but I love them!  There's nothing better than being surrounder by love ones and cute little kids that still believe in Santa Claus! 

Christmas of 2007

My little Loves

Keagan

Kenna, Keagan, and Me

 So 6 years today, cute little Keagan came into this world!  These are my little loves, Calum, Kenna, and Keagan.  I was their nanny for 2 years and I love them as if they were my own!  I miss you kids so much!  They have grown up so much!   I can't believe it, Keagan started kindergarten this year, Kenna is now in the double digits (10) and Calum will be a teenager in the summer!!  So this post is dedicated to Keagan and his cute personality!  Keagan loves big trucks, trains, and anything with wheels!  He is full of energy 24/7 and never slows down.  He is the youngest but he plays right up there with his older brother Calum!  Keagan is a tough little boy but has a heart so tender.  

Us with our cool goggles

Beautiful Kenna

Calum

Sibling love

Keagan & his serious face

When he is not trying to be a hard core man, he loves to snuggle and give you hugs and tell you that he loves you!  When I use to bring the kids over to my house to play, I would always tell my parents bye before we left and Keagan would always call my parents what I called them, so he'd say "bye mom, bye dad"!  My dad and I took the kids to Lazy 5 Ranch one summer and Keagan was so excited but a little scared at first.

My little loves

He sat on my dads lap the entire time and would only feed the animals if my dad helped him!  When my dad passed away, Keagan would say to me, "your dad was really sick, but he's in heaven now", and he would ask me, "do you miss him" and it would just bring the tears because even though he was only 4 1/2 he could tell I was hurting and just wanted me to smile and be happy.   Keagan, I love you and happy birthday little love!!